Monday, December 20, 2010
Goodbye Blogger For Now
Oh my. I realize I need a psychological and spiritual retreat. So I'm closing my blog and doing my inner work. Wish you all the best on your own journeys.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
And the dedication goes to...
Growing up, only one person encouraged me to be a writer and that's my tenth and twelfth grade English teacher, Mrs. Markovich, who was Japanese and born in the internment camp in Fresno, CA. She would work creative writing into our essays in any way she could. One red ink comment on an essay said, "Either quit talking to Erin or loose the nose ring. You're pushing it." The comment on the next essay said, "You should pursue a career in creative writing." I was 15, so at the time I paid more attention to the bossy comments. For the record, I neither took out the nose ring nor stopped talking to Erin. Not then. Not now.
It amazes me that someone told me what I should do at such a young age. I tried to fit myself into other boxes and didn't really internalize my "destiny" until I was 20, but those words are part of what got me to accepting my novel-writing fate. I can still picture her loopy handwriting in the margin of my essay about the difference between my mom's antique porcelain cows and the new funky clay ones, about the story each cow in the collection had to tell.
The next person to heavily influence my decision to be a novelist, and not just a journaler (because I've always Always kept journals on my own), is my husband. He takes the starving out of artist. He oversees all of my plot decisions. Sometimes he overrides me and sometimes I override him. Together, we keep my books from falling to their death off of cloud 9.
In Mrs. Markovich's class during senior year, I wrote an essay about my (at the time) fatherless state of being. I worked at Macy's and helped a man pick out clothes for his fifteen year old daughter. I watched on with something like envy, bittersweet and wistful. I wasn't the only one. All the worker girls were looking on in awe. It wasn't the shopping that got us. It was the sweetness. How comfortable they were together. I wrote about that moment and how boys didn't like me as much as other girls because my father wasn't around. I was a seed that got stepped on and I needed a man to water me, to make me grow into a beautiful flower that others would notice. I was a very odd sixteen year old, I know.
From all this, stems what I once thought would be the dedication in my first book:
To Mrs. Markovich, for planting the seed
and to Gabriel, the one who watered me.
As you can see, it means a lot and it makes perfect sense. But now I'm not so sure. Shouldn't the first dedication go to your mom? Shouldn't everything go to your mom? She has encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be, but always jokingly pushed me to be a journalist and be on TV.
Now I have a slew of people who encourage me.
All this is to say is that I'm not sure what my first dedication would be. It is obviously not something to dwell on. Don't worry folks, I actually do write. But its the little things that make up a big dream, and I know I'm not the only unpubbed writer to wonder what that mostly blank page will say.
Have you given thought to your first dedication? If you're already pubbed, was the dedication important to you or something to make light of? Who did you dedicate to and how did you choose that person?
P.S. No matter who I dedicate my books to, rest assured that I will track down Mrs. Markovich and send her a signed copy of each one.
P.P.S. I blogged about a teacher on Monday. Maybe its Teacher Appreciation Week in some other universe and this is the first sign in what will be the sci fi novel of my life that I am actually an alien.
It amazes me that someone told me what I should do at such a young age. I tried to fit myself into other boxes and didn't really internalize my "destiny" until I was 20, but those words are part of what got me to accepting my novel-writing fate. I can still picture her loopy handwriting in the margin of my essay about the difference between my mom's antique porcelain cows and the new funky clay ones, about the story each cow in the collection had to tell.
The next person to heavily influence my decision to be a novelist, and not just a journaler (because I've always Always kept journals on my own), is my husband. He takes the starving out of artist. He oversees all of my plot decisions. Sometimes he overrides me and sometimes I override him. Together, we keep my books from falling to their death off of cloud 9.
In Mrs. Markovich's class during senior year, I wrote an essay about my (at the time) fatherless state of being. I worked at Macy's and helped a man pick out clothes for his fifteen year old daughter. I watched on with something like envy, bittersweet and wistful. I wasn't the only one. All the worker girls were looking on in awe. It wasn't the shopping that got us. It was the sweetness. How comfortable they were together. I wrote about that moment and how boys didn't like me as much as other girls because my father wasn't around. I was a seed that got stepped on and I needed a man to water me, to make me grow into a beautiful flower that others would notice. I was a very odd sixteen year old, I know.
From all this, stems what I once thought would be the dedication in my first book:
To Mrs. Markovich, for planting the seed
and to Gabriel, the one who watered me.
As you can see, it means a lot and it makes perfect sense. But now I'm not so sure. Shouldn't the first dedication go to your mom? Shouldn't everything go to your mom? She has encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be, but always jokingly pushed me to be a journalist and be on TV.
Now I have a slew of people who encourage me.
All this is to say is that I'm not sure what my first dedication would be. It is obviously not something to dwell on. Don't worry folks, I actually do write. But its the little things that make up a big dream, and I know I'm not the only unpubbed writer to wonder what that mostly blank page will say.
Have you given thought to your first dedication? If you're already pubbed, was the dedication important to you or something to make light of? Who did you dedicate to and how did you choose that person?
P.S. No matter who I dedicate my books to, rest assured that I will track down Mrs. Markovich and send her a signed copy of each one.
P.P.S. I blogged about a teacher on Monday. Maybe its Teacher Appreciation Week in some other universe and this is the first sign in what will be the sci fi novel of my life that I am actually an alien.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Animal Writes Blogfest
I'm organizing a blogfest! Yay! It goes a little something like this...
Pick any animal.
Write a scene from the viewpoint of that animal. (First person, I should think. Green light on fantastical creatures, so long as they're not usually sentient. So boo hoo hoo for me--no mermaids)
Less than 1000 words.
To be posted on or before Wednesday October 13th.
In my first creative writing class, the teacher (a native American man who went by the name Brightrope and had many names, the rest of which he would not tells us because when someone calls him a certain name then he knows how that person knows him and if he were to go around telling everyone all of his names then the system would be broken) shared a scene he wrote through the viewpoint of a horse. I remember the sweat, the muscles, the flies, the obscured vision. It was a beautiful descriptive scene, and reading I felt like...a horse.
So have fun with this! How does your animal see and hear and feel? It would be cool to get a variety of animals, so I suggest commenting here on what animal you intend to do. But by all means, feel free to duplicate!
I haven't decided my animal yet, but when I do, I'll comment it. I'm thinking maybe a gecko since I have about fifty in my backyard, but I kind of want to try a lion. Cats are always tempting. Decisions. Decisions.
Sign up bellow and leave a comment :)
Also, use the blogfest badge to let your readers know you'll be participating, and hopefully to get a few more writers playing along. The more animals the better!
Pick any animal.
Write a scene from the viewpoint of that animal. (First person, I should think. Green light on fantastical creatures, so long as they're not usually sentient. So boo hoo hoo for me--no mermaids)
Less than 1000 words.
To be posted on or before Wednesday October 13th.
In my first creative writing class, the teacher (a native American man who went by the name Brightrope and had many names, the rest of which he would not tells us because when someone calls him a certain name then he knows how that person knows him and if he were to go around telling everyone all of his names then the system would be broken) shared a scene he wrote through the viewpoint of a horse. I remember the sweat, the muscles, the flies, the obscured vision. It was a beautiful descriptive scene, and reading I felt like...a horse.
So have fun with this! How does your animal see and hear and feel? It would be cool to get a variety of animals, so I suggest commenting here on what animal you intend to do. But by all means, feel free to duplicate!
I haven't decided my animal yet, but when I do, I'll comment it. I'm thinking maybe a gecko since I have about fifty in my backyard, but I kind of want to try a lion. Cats are always tempting. Decisions. Decisions.
Sign up bellow and leave a comment :)
Also, use the blogfest badge to let your readers know you'll be participating, and hopefully to get a few more writers playing along. The more animals the better!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
My least favorite words
Everyone has their least favorite words. My sister's least fave is "delicious," which is so effing funny because people say it ALL THE TIME and every single time, she cringes. Its awesome. Best sister revenge ever. All I have to do is say, "This is delicious" and its pay back for whatever youngest-one-injustice I was suffering.
As a side, my mom's barfs when anyone else does. Actually, she barfs when anyone pretends to be barfing. I only used that twice. I distinctly recall some carrot coming up in a planter box. Sorry Mom.
What makes me gag? Two words that I really don't want to type. I don't want to think them. I don't want to write them. OH NO!! OMG OH NO!! I DON'T WANNA....ohhh here they are..."for me" and "personally."
Achk! aheuyck blfoopflpfl ghg ghgh uhhhh OMG I did it. Now you know. Sure its not as bad as barfing on cue, but it sucks cause people say them ALL THE TIME.
That phrase and that word are totally unnecessary. I remember when I was thirteen in line at a sandwich shop and the girl in front of me said "personally" at the beginning of every other sentence. I almost died.
And "for me" is just as bad. I don't care who you were talking about before, but if you say the word "I" you don't need to put "Me" in front of it!!! Oh and I am talking about the phrase coming at the beginning of a sentence. If you say "none for me" I won't slap you.
What's your least favorite word?
I promise not to use it as revenge. *crosses fingers under desk*
I was watching a TV show and the mom character's least favorite word was "moist." The daughter said it whenever she could, of course. Can you choose the least favorite words of your characters?
Umm...I sorta...can't.
As a side, my mom's barfs when anyone else does. Actually, she barfs when anyone pretends to be barfing. I only used that twice. I distinctly recall some carrot coming up in a planter box. Sorry Mom.
What makes me gag? Two words that I really don't want to type. I don't want to think them. I don't want to write them. OH NO!! OMG OH NO!! I DON'T WANNA....ohhh here they are..."for me" and "personally."
Achk! aheuyck blfoopflpfl ghg ghgh uhhhh OMG I did it. Now you know. Sure its not as bad as barfing on cue, but it sucks cause people say them ALL THE TIME.
That phrase and that word are totally unnecessary. I remember when I was thirteen in line at a sandwich shop and the girl in front of me said "personally" at the beginning of every other sentence. I almost died.
And "for me" is just as bad. I don't care who you were talking about before, but if you say the word "I" you don't need to put "Me" in front of it!!! Oh and I am talking about the phrase coming at the beginning of a sentence. If you say "none for me" I won't slap you.
What's your least favorite word?
I promise not to use it as revenge. *crosses fingers under desk*
I was watching a TV show and the mom character's least favorite word was "moist." The daughter said it whenever she could, of course. Can you choose the least favorite words of your characters?
Umm...I sorta...can't.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I sympathize with you, Justine. Owwy.
Hiya!! I finished reading Liar by Justine Larbalastier last night. It was a fantastic read. YA. Unique. Hilarious. Witty. Shocking. Just darn good. I've never read anything like it. It was one of those books that makes you smile every other page and has you thinking how clever! how fun! A dynamic family history. An intriguing mix of country and city settings. Plus, where you end up is nowhere near where you think you might at the start...So you know, I recommend it. Just don't let anyone ruin the "truth" behind the lies for you before you read it.
Like a good fangirl, I went on over to Justine Larbalastier's blog. Her newest post says this:
It wouldn't surprise me, but its not something to worry about, since its probably inevitable. In an effort to slow down the process, I always:
1) Put pot butter on my wrists before and after writing (before you get all offended, its pot cocoa butter, like a massage oil and does not have any...mental side effects). It calms my wrists down quite nicely.
2) Wear supportive wrist bands/guards. I wear both when I'm typing. Just the right one when I'm working by hand.
3) Use an ergonomic keyboard.
4) Keep my chair at the right height so that my arms are mostly bent at a ninety degree angle.
It just doesn't seem to be enough though. I'm on the computer probably...eight hours a day, and that is being pretty conservative. At night, I'm still in pain.
Are you plagued by wrist pain? What do you do to prevent it and heal it?
And, don't you just love Liar? I totally can't wait to read the anthology of YA short stories that she and Holly Black (author of Spiderwick) edited called Zombies v Unicorns. Plus, did you know that Justine is married to Scott Westerfield, author of the Uglies trilogy? Oh yes, what a good fangirl I am. Indeed.
The RSI in my hands and forearms got worse.Dang girl. Four weeks! That kind of freaks me out...a lot. As you know, I rewrote my book on paper. Now I'm typing it in. (I'm at 82 computer doc pages btw). Lemme tell ya that it hurts. Typing this much sucks. Writing hurts no matter what I do though. Type. Write on paper. Its just straight up painful. And I haven't been doing this all that long. So I wonder, will I have to take four weeks off someday? Go to physical therapy?
I took four weeks off from the computer entirely. I have reorganised my computer setup. I’ve been doing a vast amount of physical therapy. I’m improving. Slowly and frustratingly but surely.
It wouldn't surprise me, but its not something to worry about, since its probably inevitable. In an effort to slow down the process, I always:
1) Put pot butter on my wrists before and after writing (before you get all offended, its pot cocoa butter, like a massage oil and does not have any...mental side effects). It calms my wrists down quite nicely.
2) Wear supportive wrist bands/guards. I wear both when I'm typing. Just the right one when I'm working by hand.
3) Use an ergonomic keyboard.
4) Keep my chair at the right height so that my arms are mostly bent at a ninety degree angle.
It just doesn't seem to be enough though. I'm on the computer probably...eight hours a day, and that is being pretty conservative. At night, I'm still in pain.
Are you plagued by wrist pain? What do you do to prevent it and heal it?
And, don't you just love Liar? I totally can't wait to read the anthology of YA short stories that she and Holly Black (author of Spiderwick) edited called Zombies v Unicorns. Plus, did you know that Justine is married to Scott Westerfield, author of the Uglies trilogy? Oh yes, what a good fangirl I am. Indeed.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The journey to an opening
Hello there!! So...I was reading my book out loud to hubby for the first time. It was rather exhiliarting and kind of scary too. (As a side note...while I read I found myself projecting the voices I imagined my narrators to have, but it didn't feel quite right. When I let myself naturally come up with a voice from the words present as I would with any other book I was reading aloud, the voices that did come out of me were totally shocking. Sort of like, did I do that? The narrators' personalities came off stronger than I'd hoped. Yay!)
At one point Gabriel said, "underline that whole part that you just read." He said that he really really liked that part and we agreed that it was where Joaviz's (one of my narrators) voice comes off the strongest.
The next day, I read posts about openings, and I wondered how much work I would put in to perfect the first five pages. My guess is that it'll be...a lot.
Today I was wondering about what snags me with an opening. (I never read jacket covers and do not pick books for subject matter or plot, so usually its the opening that gets me to read a book). I decided that its voice. Of course. I talk about voice a lot, don't I? Well, yeah. All writers do. Without a strong voice, you got shit. That's just the way it goes.
So, I'm thinking that I will take the section that gave us the strongest sense of Joaviz's voice and have it be my opening. Even though it comes from a few scenes later, I've found a way to work it into the very first scene.
This could change, of course, but I'm definitely on the path to the right opening. (Its already changed three times.) Here's the part I'm referring to:
--
I tend to not like openers that feel gimmicky, like "I was about to learn that life wasn't fair" or "That was the summer that changed everything." If there's an audible voice and an interesting character, then I'm usually sold.
What are your favorite types of openers? How did you choose your own opening?
At one point Gabriel said, "underline that whole part that you just read." He said that he really really liked that part and we agreed that it was where Joaviz's (one of my narrators) voice comes off the strongest.
The next day, I read posts about openings, and I wondered how much work I would put in to perfect the first five pages. My guess is that it'll be...a lot.
Today I was wondering about what snags me with an opening. (I never read jacket covers and do not pick books for subject matter or plot, so usually its the opening that gets me to read a book). I decided that its voice. Of course. I talk about voice a lot, don't I? Well, yeah. All writers do. Without a strong voice, you got shit. That's just the way it goes.
So, I'm thinking that I will take the section that gave us the strongest sense of Joaviz's voice and have it be my opening. Even though it comes from a few scenes later, I've found a way to work it into the very first scene.
This could change, of course, but I'm definitely on the path to the right opening. (Its already changed three times.) Here's the part I'm referring to:
Lily says I’m a scene girl, but I say I’m Old Hollywood plus punk.
Lately though, its just been black black black. Its not that I’m turning goth or black-cat-camera-eye (that’s what me and Lil call those slam poetry types). I’m not trying to mourn too soon. I’m not trying to do anything.
When I wake up and get dressed, I might wear a bright green t-shirt around the house, but I can’t get myself to go outside in anything but black, and maybe a little olive green.
--
I tend to not like openers that feel gimmicky, like "I was about to learn that life wasn't fair" or "That was the summer that changed everything." If there's an audible voice and an interesting character, then I'm usually sold.
What are your favorite types of openers? How did you choose your own opening?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Interview with Natalie Whipple: Happy Writers' Society
Happy Friday, folks! Today we have an interview!!! With Natalie Whipple! On a topic near and dear to my heart! ...Being a happy writer...
Two weeks ago, Natalie Whipple at Between Fact and Fiction created the Happy Writers' Society for those of us who are sick of angst. The post filled my head full of questions. I will be subject to self reflection for...oh...I don't know...the rest of my life. I was also wondering about her own experience and struggles, so A BIG THANKS to Natalie for
1) Creating the Happy Writers' Society
2) Answering my questions!
Here are her superbly helpful and encouraging answers:
When/how did you decide to take the challenge to be a happy writer and what led to that decision?
The need
I joked with hubby: "Why can't I be like a chill hippie chick who's like oh I just write all day and then you know I go to the beach. Sometimes I write at the beach. And I just cook and hang out and relax and write some more and just enjoy it. Instead of, oh my gosh am I going to write today? Is it going to work? I think I have to write today, but I have to cook. Oh my gosh I have to catch the bus. Oh my gosh, but I have to cook. Should I go to the beach? I don't know if I can write at the beach today. On no I have to eat. Ok yes. What am I gonna eat? Oh my gosh, I have to write."
Making the choice
I don't want to buy into the whole being a writer equals icky drunkenness and continued sorrow gambit. The crazies ain't goin' nowhere, but perhaps me and my Muse can entertain each other instead of engaging in hair-pulling and name-calling during that lovely little thing called my bedtime.
Not being afraid
All writers feel something when they look at a blank page. Something BIG. A jolt of electricity. A buzz. A high. Its up to us to decide how we're going to react to that feeling. Do we classify it as fear? This results in worry, feelings of inadequacy, and labeling oneself things like Crazy or Nuts. Or do we classify the jolt as excitement? With this option, we can smile and be in love words. We can feel good about the passion.
How to trust
My step-father-in-law/spiritual guru said to me, "Trust your heart. You know your heart is good." Everyone says to trust your process and give your self-permission and forgive yourself for your mistakes. These classic pieces of writing advice are valuable, but Trust your heart. You know your heart is good is so much more helpful for me. Whatever I do in life, this phrase can keep me from worrying, about the past and the future. This advice is all-encompassing to me.
Writing and life are not so different
We all know that it is no good to walk around wishing you had some Loeffler Randal pumps. (Instead I must be thankful for my Target flipflops.) It is no good to sigh in front of mansions or swoon over Ferraris. And so it goes with writing. We have to be thankful. I'm good. I'm pretty good for my age. I like what I write. I can do it. We all fall into the wishing well sometimes, but we have to "snap out of it" and give thanks. The simple act of writing is a blessing (in an angst-filled disguise.)
THANKS AGAIN NATALIE!!! Writers or not, you've given us all something to think about.
So what about you? Are YOU a happy writer?
Two weeks ago, Natalie Whipple at Between Fact and Fiction created the Happy Writers' Society for those of us who are sick of angst. The post filled my head full of questions. I will be subject to self reflection for...oh...I don't know...the rest of my life. I was also wondering about her own experience and struggles, so A BIG THANKS to Natalie for
1) Creating the Happy Writers' Society
2) Answering my questions!
Here are her superbly helpful and encouraging answers:
When/how did you decide to take the challenge to be a happy writer and what led to that decision?
I feel like I'm constantly renewing my determination to be happy as a writer. This year in particular has been a challenge, and whenever I start to feel really down I try to snap myself out of it. I don't have time to waste feeling sad right now! I barely have time as it is. I've found when I concentrate on the important things, the stuff that make me sad don't matter as much.
What difference, if any, is there between being a happy writer and being a happy person?
Not much, I don't think. Crap happens to everyone, and it's up to us to decide how we're going to deal with it. Don't get me wrong, I think it's totally appropriate to mourn and regret and all that stuff. Just not forever. I definitely have my rough days, but when I do I try not to let them last long. I have a good cry, eat something awful, and then pick myself up and keep going.
When is it the most challenging for you to be a happy writer? What gets in the way?
I think the worst for me is comparing myself to other writers. I don't have this yet. When will that be me? It won't ever be me. That kind of stuff. It's totally stupid, but there it is. It's hard not to compare journeys, but then I realize my journey is my own and things will happen when they do. Just because there are people further along doesn't mean I haven't made progress. I should be proud of where I'm at, not constantly looking ahead.
When it comes to actual writing, revisions tend to get me down in a big way. For me, the first draft is a total free write. It's my chance to explore the world and figure out the characters and just enjoy the ride. Revision is taking all that and ripping it to pieces so it actually works. Most of the time that means lots of rewriting, which makes me feel like an idiot because I can't seem to get the story right. I know revision it necessary, but it totally brings out the mean perfectionist in me. I often wish my process was different, but when I try to be more organized I get down too! So I remind myself that this is just how I work, and that's okay. Luckily, there's no one way to write.
How does being a happy writer actually improve your writing?
I don't know about others, but my productivity suffers a lot when I'm down. I get into a really negative thought pattern that prevents me from getting words on the page or finishing edits. But when I'm happy? I feel like I could write all day! I want to write all day. The words flow, and if they don't I know they'll come. I know revisions will improve my work and do them quickly and confidently. I attack my ideas with passion, instead of poking at them tentatively with a stick. I like what I'm writing, and I think it shows. Basically, everything goes better when I'm happy, thus I try to be happy as much as possible.I really enjoyed that interview!! Didn't you? It hit me on a super personal level. The beginning of the week, I was doing so well, but then once I finished my rewrite, I hit a bout of bummed-outness. Here are some of the things that I've been thinking about/learning/struggling with...
The need
I joked with hubby: "Why can't I be like a chill hippie chick who's like oh I just write all day and then you know I go to the beach. Sometimes I write at the beach. And I just cook and hang out and relax and write some more and just enjoy it. Instead of, oh my gosh am I going to write today? Is it going to work? I think I have to write today, but I have to cook. Oh my gosh I have to catch the bus. Oh my gosh, but I have to cook. Should I go to the beach? I don't know if I can write at the beach today. On no I have to eat. Ok yes. What am I gonna eat? Oh my gosh, I have to write."
Making the choice
I don't want to buy into the whole being a writer equals icky drunkenness and continued sorrow gambit. The crazies ain't goin' nowhere, but perhaps me and my Muse can entertain each other instead of engaging in hair-pulling and name-calling during that lovely little thing called my bedtime.
Not being afraid
All writers feel something when they look at a blank page. Something BIG. A jolt of electricity. A buzz. A high. Its up to us to decide how we're going to react to that feeling. Do we classify it as fear? This results in worry, feelings of inadequacy, and labeling oneself things like Crazy or Nuts. Or do we classify the jolt as excitement? With this option, we can smile and be in love words. We can feel good about the passion.
How to trust
My step-father-in-law/spiritual guru said to me, "Trust your heart. You know your heart is good." Everyone says to trust your process and give your self-permission and forgive yourself for your mistakes. These classic pieces of writing advice are valuable, but Trust your heart. You know your heart is good is so much more helpful for me. Whatever I do in life, this phrase can keep me from worrying, about the past and the future. This advice is all-encompassing to me.
Writing and life are not so different
We all know that it is no good to walk around wishing you had some Loeffler Randal pumps. (Instead I must be thankful for my Target flipflops.) It is no good to sigh in front of mansions or swoon over Ferraris. And so it goes with writing. We have to be thankful. I'm good. I'm pretty good for my age. I like what I write. I can do it. We all fall into the wishing well sometimes, but we have to "snap out of it" and give thanks. The simple act of writing is a blessing (in an angst-filled disguise.)
THANKS AGAIN NATALIE!!! Writers or not, you've given us all something to think about.
So what about you? Are YOU a happy writer?
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